Saturday, November 25, 2006
Are You Getting It in the Neck?
Sometimes it is helpful to take stock of the people that you have in your life. Taking a good look at the relationships created and assessing the balance is important. Is there a feeling of equal balance in all your relationships? Are those relationships on solid footing?
It is easy to get stuck in the trap of always being the one…
…to give.
…to be there.
…to deliver.
…to pick up the pieces.
…to render the support.
Why is that?
Sometimes it comes down to a fear of being viewed as selfish or not nice if you request a little care and attention. It may be because that is all one knows how to do, to be the supportive giver. It can also relate to not feeling comfortable receiving from others.
Whatever the reason, the bottom line…
You will come across people who will take more than they will give. People who are so centered deeply in self that they are always looking for support from others, always talking about who they are, what they are doing, and who they are involved with, without much thought to the person they deem as a friend, lover, or business colleague. I lovingly refer to those people as “energy vampires” because they will suck the life force out of you if you let them.
So what can you do to minimize, reduce, or remove the impact of an energy vampire?
Dealing with energy vampires requires first (and probably most important) an understanding that everyone is where they need to be at that given moment. You may not like what the person is doing or even who they are, but being able to accept them and accept where they are will help you to protect your own energy.
Draw boundaries. Get really clear on what you will allow and what you won’t allow in your relationship and uphold those boundaries, treat them like gold.
Speak your truth. (A term that used to drive me bonkers, but a very important one at that.) Sometimes all it takes is telling someone how you feel in a constructive and loving way. You may find the person is not even aware of their energy-zapping behavior and once made aware will endeavor to change it.
Cut the ties that bind. Don't be afraid that if you cut loose an energy vampire that you will be deemed as selfish and uncaring. By removing or limiting contact with an energy vampire you are creating the space to attract people in your life who are willing to equally give and receive. Oh, and here is the neat part, by cutting the ties you are sending a strong message to the universe. That message is that you matter and that you want people in your life who support you just as much as you support them; people who do so in action and deed and not just word.
Inventory YOU. Is there an area of your life where you are being an energy vampire yourself? Just by recognizing where we may be sucking energy helps us to become more aware of when someone is doing the same and where we need to plug the energy drains.
I am here to tell you that it is OK (more than OK) to preserve energy for you...to receive. Healthy relationships whether they are romantic, friendship based, or business all need and deserve to have a healthy balance.
My wish for you is to treat your energy as a precious commodity. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Until next time, please be well and avoid getting it in the neck…
Pam
Posted by Pam at 2:07:38 PM in Creating Change (90) | Permalink | Comments (4)
Comments
I agree 100% Energy Vampire is a great way to describe it. I will have to do a self check as well, thanks Pam :)Posted by Matt on 27/11/2006
Matt, thank you. :) With the New Year fast approaching, now is an awesome time to take stock in the people and things in your life. Kudos to you! If there is any way in which I can be of support, please do let me know.Take care!
Pam
Posted by Pam on 27/11/2006
What A great post, Pam. I have finally given myself the ok to say NO and mean it. Took me a long time, but I did it! I really enjoyed visiting your blog. Please come and see me soon :-)Posted by Lorna on 03/12/2006
Lorna, that is so awesome -- well done and thank you for sharing!! How did it feel to say "no"?Thank you again for sharing and for visiting Make the Most of U. :) Keep up the awesome work of protecting your energy!!
Be well...
Pam
Posted by Pam on 03/12/2006
