> Perfection – What's It Costing You?

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Perfection – What's It Costing You?

Several months ago I wrote a blog entry entitled “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change”. That entry spoke to the issue of being asked to be something other than who you are. However, today’s entry is more about the perceived notion of being perfect.

This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart because some where along the way I got the message to be perfect. The perfect person who did not make mistakes, who was the perfect weight, who wore the perfect clothes… I think you get the idea.

How did that message to be perfect serve me? How does it serve me now when it rears its head from time-to-time?

Not very well! Personally, it’s no fun dealing with the pressure, pressure that hangs heavy like a weight around my ankle. It’s an energy drain and emotionally stifling.

If this all sounds too familiar, then please continue to read on…

1) There is no such thing as perfect and striving for perfection is a never ending circle. How does being dizzy sound?

2) The quest for perfection creates pressure which distracts you from those things that are productive and will serve you better.

3) Needing to be perfect lands you a one-way ticket to Comparison-ville. In comparing yourself to others and what others have, you negate and miss out on all the wonderful things that you have, all the amazing attributes you possess.

4) Trying to achieve perfection is like walking through life with a bag over your head. You miss out on some fantastic growth and learning opportunities.

My wish for you is that you give yourself permission to not be perfect. Give yourself permission to be human, with warts and all. It is the warts and all that makes you the special person that you are.

In closing, I wish to share some really awesome quotes which I hope will empower you and provide some good food for thought.

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. - Anna Quindlen

Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. - Dr. David M. Burns

Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault. - Dr. David M. Burns

Perfectionism is simply putting a limit on your future. When you have an idea of perfect in your mind, you open the door to constantly comparing what you have now with what you want. That type of self criticism is significantly deterring. -John Eliot, Ph.D., Reverse Psychology for Success

As always, I welcome your thoughts and comments.

Please be well…

Pam

Posted by Pam at 6:42:36 PM in Creating Change (93) | Permalink | Comments (10)

Comments

Pam, thanks for touching on this subject. It is very near and dear to me as well. As a coach and recovering "over-achiever" I hear you loud and clear! I am working on being the best ME possible, and letting go of the need to be perfect. When we let ourselves off the hook about being perfect, we open the door to our own, beautiful, unique life - just waiting to unfold. Thanks again for reminding me, that I'm all that AS IS!! Love you girl, kam

Posted by kammie k on 14/05/2006

Hey Kam!

Great to hear from you!! You are so right...you are "all that AS IS"!! Doesn't being let off the hook feel good? It certainly allows you to move a bit freer and easier...plus, as you mentioned you open that door to some amazing things.

Here is to leading a life without perfection. :)

Love ya too...

Pam

Posted by Pam on 14/05/2006

G-d, I so understand that. Trying to be perfect was what really got me down. It's only now that I;m slowly learning to forgive me!

Posted by S on 15/05/2006

S, well done!! Letting go of perfection is a very hard thing to do. My hat is off to you for realizing that trying to be perfect can get you down.

Keep up the awesome work!!

Pam

Posted by Pam on 15/05/2006

Great post! Perfection is undefineable and unattainable, but there is always, better.

Ken

Posted by Ken on 17/05/2006

Ken, thank you so much!! We can always strive to be the best we can be...but you are right...perfection is unattainable. Thank you so much for sharing!!

Do take care...

Pam

Posted by Pam on 17/05/2006

Thank you for that post Pam! I love the quotes by Dr. Burns. They really strike a chord, you know. ;) How many amazing things would I never have learned if I hadn't been so freaking imperfect! :D I've learned some great stuff, I'm still imperfect, and I love me!

Love you bunches!
Lynne

Posted by Lynne on 24/05/2006

Awww, I am so glad to hear that you love you! That is important!! You know being imperfect is a good thing, as you have demonstrated in your post...all the wonderful and exciting things we learn when we give up the fight for perfection.

Love to you...

Pam

Posted by Pam on 24/05/2006

I dont think anyone is perfect , we all try to do a perfect job in our lives , but I think it is hard to always want to be perfect. Just stopped to say hello. I like your Blog

Posted by lalitha5151 on 05/06/2006

Lalitha, thank you for your comments and for your sweet compliment. I appreciate it!

Please be well!

Pam

Posted by Pam on 05/06/2006