Sunday, August 06, 2006

How’s that Heaviness Working for Ya?

Have you ever been in a situation where someone else’s bad mood or disposition just left you feeling heavy, sad, or angry? (Heck, it is hard to turn on the TV or pick up the newspaper these days without subjecting ourselves to some sort of negativity.)

I will raise my hand and admit that I have allowed another’s mood or situation to completely throw me for a loop. As funny as this may sound, until I became a coach I was not even aware that I was taking on the negative feelings from someone/something else. Now I am VERY aware of when someone’s heaviness is having an impact.

As an example, there is a person at my gym who is clearly very unhappy. You can hear it in his voice when he speaks, in the words that he uses, and see it in his body language. Bless his heart, he reminds me of Eeyore …everything is always doom and gloom. For awhile his presence would spur tense feelings in my shoulders and a feeling of utter heaviness. It was truly sad and it was certainly not the reaction I wished to have.

It was not until having a discussion with my own coach that it became very clear that I did not have to stand in some else’s “circle of doom” (as she so wonderfully put it). Rather, I could stand outside of that circle and come from a place of compassion. I’ll be darned if that did not make all the difference in the world.

Here are just a few suggestions for insulating yourself :

Pay close attention to your own feelings.

Being very aware of your own feelings and any changes is very important. Pay attention to any feelings of heaviness and where you are feeling them, i.e. in your stomach, center of your chest, etc.

 

Try approaching the situation or person from your heart instead of your head.

Coming from your heart helps you to approach things from a place of compassion rather than anger or dread.

 

Visualize being in a brighter and lighter place.

This is really helpful when relating to a negative person. You can visualize them as standing under a very dark cloud while you are standing in the sunshine.

 

Remember that you have a choice.

Everyone approaches things based on where they are personally. Some people are in negative places (at that time) for a reason and you have a choice not to join them.

Posted by Pam at 5:44:51 PM in Creating Change (93) | Permalink | Comments (0)

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