Sunday, March 30, 2008
Driver or Passenger Seat?
The hardest thing often to relinquish is being in the driver’s seat (in control). Let’s face it, it’s difficult not to have control, especially over events or even people (yep, people) who are important to us. Why? Because we have to be reliant on something or someone else to help create the desired outcome we are after…to help get us to where we want to go.
Two weeks ago I shared with all of you how I became vulnerable by putting my deep personal feelings out there. This was a wonderful and tough thing to do; it was wonderful to let the other person know just how much I love and care for him, but at the same time it was difficult to get out of the driver’s seat and into the passenger seat. (To this day, I still have to practice letting go of the outcome.)
You see, the only things I had control over in this situation were my own feelings and how I chose to share them. I did not have control over how my feelings would be received and the response I would ultimately get. Now, it is a matter of being the best person I can be to myself and this person, letting go of the outcome, and having faith (all things I have control over) that what is meant to be, will.
I’ll admit, it’s tough to let go of the wheel and at the same time it is so easy to fall prey to trying to force or push things along. Yep, been there, done that; trying to force the outcome produced results far from what I really wanted. In the long run it wasn’t worth it.
So what’s a person to do?
First things first, it helps to distinguish what you truly have control over in the current situation. If it helps, ask yourself the following questions, “What do I have control over?” and “What don’t I have control over?” Getting clear and creating awareness around when you are in the driver’s seat and when you are in the passenger’s seat is half the battle.
Of the things you have control over make a commitment to execute them in a constructive fashion; meaning knowing when to put on the gas and knowing when to ease off a bit and just coast. Remember, it’s a fine balance; gunning the gas pedal is not always the best option. Sometimes you have to drive as if you are “Driving Miss Daisy”, slowly, steadily, and reliably.
Now it’s your turn. When was the last time you forced your way into the driver’s seat? What happened? What happened the last time you sat back, were completely present, and enjoyed the ride?
(Image courtesy of www.pedalcar.com)
Posted by Pam at 5:32:53 PM in Creating Change (86) | Permalink | Comments (0)
