Sunday, June 15, 2008
Go Big Or Go Home Question: What Will YOU Say?
I noticed a few times this week that when I was presented with some cool opportunities resistance stuck a foot in them....more like my self saboteur, actually. She came out in full force with her little power suit, high heels, hands on hips, saying loudly, "Who are you kidding? You can't do this!"
Truth be told I actually have two self saboteurs; one I call my dream squasher (the one I just described). My dream squasher is the one who sticks her heels in the concepts of big opportunities and dreams, trying desperately to let the air out of them. She does this so I don't have to be successful.
My other self saboteur is a little girl. Why a little girl? Well, at eight years of age that is when I received the message that I was not good enough and did not deserve good things. That message manifested into a fear of loss; fear of losing anything that was important to me because I was not deserving. So when something is really important to me she will come out to remind me that the more important things I have, the more I have to lose.
The one thing I have found, the more I fight either one the louder and stronger they get. Think of a child throwing a tantrum; have you ever noticed that the less attention you give a child throwing a fit the louder they become? Same notion applies here.
Rather than fighting my self saboteurs, rather than telling them to "shut up, sit down, and leave me alone", I say, "It's OK. It's all going to be a-ok. I promise. I have everything handled and you are going to be OK." Seems to do the trick every time, because in all actuality (like children) all self saboteurs really want is to be told that everything is going to be OK; that they're really OK (that WE'RE really OK).
Now for the Go Big Go Home Question... The next time your self saboteur rears it's head, what will you say to it? What will you do to comfort it rather than fight it?
(**image courtesy of www.carsonvalleyvitality.com)