> Ask Pam

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Second Class Citizen - NOT!

Pam, I have a client who is absolutely the most inconsiderate person in the world. First of all, my client has more money then he could ever spend and has the attitude that everyone should cater to him. He expects me to drop everything and run and basically treats me like a slave. I am damned tired of being treated like a second-class citizen! I have tried to talk with him to let him know that I do not like the way he has treated me, but it does not seem to make a difference. I am at a loss as to what to do!

Bless your heart!! First and foremost, you are NOT a second-class citizen and you do NOT deserve to be treated as one!

Second, I wish for you to ask yourself, is this a client that you truly need? If you were to let go of this client would you be jeopardizing your well-being?

If you answered "no", it may be time to let go of this client. Honestly, I am a firm believer that when we remove the negatives in our lives, we create the space for more positives to present themselves.

If you answered "yes", then how about setting a few goals that will help you move forward to more positive potentials? Goals that will you get to the place where feeling reliant on this client is no longer an issue. For example, "By "x-date" I will have two new clients". Then make a commitment to yourself to do one thing every day that will help you reach that goal. That one thing could be handing out your business card to someone, developing a referral program for your existing clients, making a few phone calls, or just sharing what you do with one new person a day.

In the meantime, know that it is OK to draw some boundaries. One of those boundaries could be placing your client on a schedule and sticking to that schedule. There is an old saying that I just love; "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."

Whatever the boundary/boundaries you draw, just remember, no one has the right to make you feel less of a person. You are not less of a person!! You are a capable person, who adds great value!

I wish you the very best of luck and thank you so much for sharing!

Be well…

Pam

Posted by Pam at 2:53:20 PM in Ask Pam (3) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Stuck... In Need of a New Direction

Pam, I am 54 years of age and I feel like I am going absolutely no where right now. I am stuck in what feels like a dead-end life. I am looking for a new direction, but have no idea where to start. What can I do??

I truly wish to thank you for sharing... by doing so you have taken an important step forward. Often in sharing with others we find not only the strength and support we need, but we often find solutions.

I greatly appreciate where you are right now and understand how difficult it is to feel stuck. While this may not feel like the best place to be, and maybe it even feels a tad overwhelming, where you are is an important place to be. The reason... it indicates that you are ready to make a change or a shift in your life.

What I would like to recommend at this time are the following suggestions:

1) Block out at least an hour (more if possible) where you can spend a bit of quiet time. If it means turning off the phone, going to your local library or a quiet spot outside, great. This is going to be your time! Time for some discovery so the less distractions the better.

During this time grab a piece of paper and pen and start making a list of all the things that excite you. Things that ignite a fire or that you feel passionate about it. Try not to analyze this list as you are making it, just free write and capture the things that come to the surface. After you are done with the list, put it in a safe place. Then in a few days time, take your list out and look it over.

Are there things on this list that you can do now? Things that will help you to change your direction. Is there something on this list that you are really passionate about, something that you could potentially do as a side project or even a new career? Are there activities on this list that you have always wanted to try, but never have for various and assorted reasons? If so, make a date with yourself to try one of these activities. If you are nervous about doing so, find a friend that would be willing to try your activity too.

2) If you are feeling stuck in your job, now would be a great time to take a look at all the wonderful skills you have to offer. Are there any skills that are not being utilized in your job? If so, brainstorm with a colleague and come up with a list of work-related activities that can easily be created. For example, if you are a person who loves to throw parties and you are a fantastic cook, why not try to organize pot luck lunches on Fridays, where everyone brings a favorite dish along with the recipes to share. You would be amazed at some of the things that can develop (ideas, new roles, great friendships) from something that may seem relatively simple and basic.

As a final thought; try and remember that it is never too late for a change…no matter what age or stage you are in life. Change is a part of growth and can be fun. It can be a time of exploration. Most importantly keep sharing your thoughts and feelings, either with people you can trust or in a journal. Sharing is vital.

I wish you the very best and again, thank you for sharing!

Be well,

Pam

Posted by Pam at 4:48:37 PM in Ask Pam (3) | Permalink | Comments (2)

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Burning Questions? ASK AWAY!

Sometimes we get a bit stuck or we find ourselves feeling a bit frustrated with our current situation. It happens to the best of us, but that does not mean that we have to get unstuck or deal with those frustrations alone.